Have you ever been that person in the room before an interview full of self-doubt? The person nervous because he is not confident in his capability to perform. That young girl in the mirror that can’t recognize her own worth and beauty. We have all been there, despite the accomplishments you may have, still seems like insecurity finds its way.
So how does this look in real life. Our insecurities can cause us to approach situations with doubt and lack of confidence. There can also be levels of anxiety that people may deal with. Insecurities can also play out in several different behaviors: assertiveness, nervousness, timidity, and self-consciousness, just naming a few. They can have a negative effect on the way we deal with relationships. Do you feel like you don’t deserve love, and no matter what you do your partner will eventually leave? What about staying home alone avoiding social environments because you don’t feel like you have enough to offer. Some people don’t feel good enough because they feel fat, stupid, or ugly the list can go on and on.
In order to tackle the insecurity you must get to the root of the issue. Where do insecurities come from? How do we deal with them? The type of experiences you have in childhood, past traumas, rejections, failures, critical parents, or mentors are just a few things that can begin an insecurity. Since insecurities can be detrimental to how you live your life, it is important to cope and work towards conquering them.
To conquer the insecurity, you must deal with the root. Sometimes that means revisiting hard situations that you may have suppressed. You must have a willingness to face what you don’t want to face. Keep in mind the overall goal is to become okay with yourself, and find contentment and peace.
I have three important ways to work towards this goal.
- Yes, the F word. Forgiveness is necessary for those dealing with insecurities that occur due to someone or something that hurt you. I have found forgiveness easier for me to do when I keep in mind that we are all only humans. As humans, we have imperfections. And while someone may have hurt you, they were also dealing with their insecurities and their past demons.
- ACCEPT ALL OF YOURSELF
- This is a tall task. (I know, I know, I know) This will take time, but it is okay. What works for me is to write in my journal about myself. I journal about myself basically. The things that I like about myself. I spend time analyzing what I feel needs improvement and also what I hate. I start to speak affirmations over the areas that need improvement. I come up with a solid plan to change the things I hate about myself. If it is an area I can’t change, I simply change my attitude towards those things.
- DEVELOP A TRUST IN YOU.
- Begin to believe in yourself. Speak affirmations over your day that in the moments that arise you will be okay. This does take time and practice. But with persistence you can accomplish this task.
In no way is this a fix all, and in no way am I telling you this is exactly what you should do. I am only sharing a matter that is personal to me, and this is how I deal when this problem arises. This is only a path to begin your journey. You find what you are struggling with, then learn to deal with it. Pay attention to those obstacles that get in your way and deal with them head on.